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There’s a huge difference between a husband who admits he has used porn and wants to stop, and a husband who was caught using porn and is just trying to get away with it. Now, this only applies if your husband honestly wants to put the porn in the past as well. And one thing that helps is that, after that initial grief is over, you realize that you are on the same page, fighting an evil together. And don’t deny the gravity of the effects of porn on a marriage, either!Īt the same time, if I can offer some reassurance, so many marriages have emerged on the other side. And it could be that what God is going to make out of the pieces of your heart and your relationship, will be different from what you started with, but that doesn’t mean it won’t also be beautiful. At times, when we first find out something so devastating, we’re tempted to say, “it’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it, let’s just forget it and go back to normal” because we’re afraid to face what this might mean.īut we need to admit brokenness. You don’t have to fix anything overnight, and sometimes if we try too hard to fix it right now we do more damage. Give yourself some time to yell at God about it, to wrestle this through, and to cry. People often arrive on this blog the night they discover their husband watching porn, and they find posts talking about pornography use and pour out their hurt in the comments. Now you know, and very likely the feelings are overwhelming. Likely you knew something was wrong, and you suspected something, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. You’ll feel betrayed, and dirty, and angry. It’s going to come as a major sucker punch. So let’s get real about what porn does to marriage. So many of you have arrived here because of this problem. I wanted to revamp it and rerun it, since it’s 6 years since I last wrote it, because it is probably one of the most important posts on this blog. One of my biggest posts in the past, that I point to all the time, was one on what to do if your husband uses porn. We’ve also already talked about how women can use porn as well.
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This month our theme is pornography use–how to understand the effects of porn how to defeat porn and recover from porn how to help the future generation not get hooked. What should you do if your husband watches porn? The Honeymoon Course! Start Your Marriage (and your Sex Life) off Well!.The Whole Story–Talking to Your Teens About Puberty.9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage.The ALL NEW Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex.Want to Know When Sheila is Speaking Near You?.